Have you ever noticed how adults apologize if they come to tears in front of you or other people? Have you noticed how embarrassed and ashamed people can be about the act of crying? Or how taboo the tears seem to be that the adult crying will show such disapproval of themselves and the tears and openly criticize their emotional behavior by condemning and putting themselves down.
"I am so stupid. Why am I crying? This is so silly. I am sorry sorry for being such an idiot."
I hear these statements all too often. Even in situations where we are sharing and discussing intimate things about ourselves or hurtful events from out past or something that they have never said out loud before… people will refuse to accept this as a natural part of life.
Sometimes tears are almost 100% necessary and expected and yet adults will automatically go into a state of internal judgement and disgust for themselves and do anything they can to shut down the crying process.
But these tears need to fall down the cheeks of these dear human beings. They need to be seen and felt. They need to be released in order to relieve stress and worries, toxic thoughts and emotions like sadness, grief and frustration.
Crying can soothe, even ease pain and calm us so that we can eventually sleep.
It also helps others to connect to you. Such vulnerability is one of the most beautiful things I witness as a coach. Some may see it as not professional but being a sensitive person I occasionally shed a tear in sessions especially when I connect so deeply and see my old self in my client or because I am overwhelmed with happiness and pride and joy as my clients grow and overcomes obstacles.
It is such an honor and privilege to witness another adult crying. I honestly fall in love in an instant with the beautiful soul trying to come through and release the many traumas and pain from the past or finally move through the inner battle that has been going on within.
So allow yourself to cry. Allow vulnerability. Something is shifting within you when this happens. Trust yourself. DO NOT judge yourself. DO NOT bother about the opinions of others. The right people will connect with you in these moments.
You know, you had me at your first tear!
*please do seek professional help if you are finding that you are crying frequently or for no apparent reason, if it affecting your daily work or activities or it feels like it gets out of control.